Living To Carry The Cross, Learning To Live The Hard Eucharisteo

I t came on your ordinary day. Nothing felt out of order just your ordinary day. It was my Mother-In-Law on the other end telling her oldest that her doctor had found lung cancer. To what extent we don't know yet. She finds out the results next week. I saw my husbands face drop and wet warm tears began swelling  his eyes. The one who holds you all those tiny years and nurtures you to be the man you are to be has lung cancer. I see him pray with her, I to hold his hand and bow low asking for our Daddy to bring her comfort and healing. I to ask for comfort for my husband for my Daddy to fold His arms around his heart. So we wait to hear the results in our Daddy's waiting room. Three weeks later I get a phone call from my Father. My Mom has been in and out of the hospital for the last two weeks battling with her sodium and ammonia levels. She has a disease that is attacking her liver. Her own body is fighting against her liver. The doctor's had said she was not a good candi...

I 'm talking with my grandmother when the call-waiting beeps in. I look to see who the caller may be. I recognize the area code but not the number. I ignore the call -waiting and continue on with my grandmother. Two more times the same caller calls again. I say my good-bye's to my grandmother and I thumb for the button to recieve the caller who has been waiting. Cries coming from my niece, I had never known what her cell number was, hence my reluctance to answer her call. She's spilling with fear and she's upset beyond words. The only two words I can make out are "Mom" and "heart attack"! I tell her I'm on my way. The only thing that is realing in my mind is her mother's lost soul. I begin to pray for God to protect my sister's heart. "She doesn't know you, Daddy". "Give her a second chance at life". "Please send someone into her life to pour out your love on her". " I have talked to her and have wi...

H is tears came from wanting to see God. We have been working our way through Max Lucado and Randy Frazee"s The Story  at church. How thankful I am for this in our family life! From the pulpit the pastor has encouraged the Dad's to lead their family's through the week and then we would have a sermon about the chapter we studied on Sunday. This is a church wide thing. My good and perfect gift is learning the same thing only on his level. Our small group is going through it together as well. This has been a wonderful answer to my prayer for my husband. For once he is leading our devotional time, prayer time and reading through God's word. Thank you Daddy for such a wonderful time this has brought in our family. This is the way it should be. The dad that I know is in there is finally having to come out and lead his family.                           ...

I t lasted for almost an hour. His meltdowns sometimes can seem to last and last. He gets so worked up over the very smallest of things. This one was over a sticker that he had removed and wanted to place elsewhere on his Hot Wheels Mini City.                                            Stikers are good for sticking but not removing to another place. I heard it begin and I decided to remove myself and read Ann's Blog for some encouragement and spiritual nourishment.  I have found that sometimes if I just give him the space he needs to vent, he will calm down much quicker than if I were to stay and try and talk him down. When he goes past the point of no return there really is no reasoning with him.            ...

I t has been 4 days of him not speaking to me. I too have shut down because talking to him only leads to further frustration. I have waited long and prayed hard for an apology. He passes me with nothing on his tongue. He glances the opposite direction to keep from making eye contact. He's gone to bed angry as well as I have too.                                                                    Today, I muster up the courage to ask the hard question before he walks out the door to go to work. It might not be the right timing to talk but I want restoration in our relationship. All too often I feel as if our marriage is always in the rebuilding stage. I have n...

I  sat alone on the couch last night. Good and perfect gift was spending time in his room. Tonight would have been the perfect timing for my husband and I to spend much quality time together. No distractions or so I thought. He had walked right past me went upstairs to play computer games!                                         Could he not open his eyes to see me sitting all alone? Does he not see that it has been to long since him and I had any time together? Does he not realize how long, seriously too long it has been since he has taken me out on a date? All to many times I feel like in order to get my husband to spend anytime with me I have to nag him to do it and then it's not meaningful. He is doing it out of obligation instead of desire. I really do tire of having to compete w...

T here was a message left for me on voicemail, inviting good and perfect gift and myself down for a swim. This pregnant mommy was very tired from the day. I had a Drs. appt. to check on the growth of the baby girl that continues to be knitted and woven perfectly in the secret places of my womb. A grocery trip had been in order for the day as well. Lots of other small errands to be ran as well. I had said yes to my good and perfect gift, he just delights in playing with the children down the street.   We had walked down together and he proceeded to get into the pool with his friends.                                                  The friend that had invited us had her mother come over to keep an eye on her children while her husband took ...