The Front Porch Swing

The Front Porch Swing
Would love to have you sit and chat with me here today!

A Few Of My Favorite Things! I Hope You To Enjoy a Few!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

When Your Heart Has Forgotten How To Love

         A post for those who are weary of the struggle and the fight to keep their marriage together. Keep on keepin' on hang on tight!!

She knew the hard blow of infidelity. How it can grab the heart and cause it to shatter into a million tiny pieces.

She knows how it can wrap itself around the lungs, causing you to gasp for every breath you take. As if each one is right out of your very grasp.

Her heart has grown so bitter and hard that anger has become her favorite company. It's almost as if she stands outside of herself looking in. All around her wake she can see her family crumbling under the weight of it all.
She feels powerless, hopeless, weary from the battle that goes on daily within. She makes a brave attempt to share her story hoping someone would just HEAR HER!
No one listens, no one really wants to hear. What she has to say falls on very deaf ears. No one is really willing to enter her one messy life.
Deep within her there is this part of her that wants everything to go back to the way it was. To Love as she once had Loved. Giving all of herself to him, as if there really was no tomorrow.
She now holds all of herself at a great distance
Not giving herself fully to him. She wants to try and hold all those tiny pieces together but has not the strength to do it.
She hangs on for her life and the life of her children. She wonders how many scars they will have how many times they all will end up in a puddle of tears trying to hold one another up.
Taking her life would never be an option. She has a Heavenly Father who has created her for greatness!!
Divorce is the cowards way out! Their are no testimonies that end with Divorce. Ware fare is an ugly, horrid thing. We trudge through on our knees,on our faces at times and we come through it bruised, b r o k e n , and dis   jointed.
But HE is the GOD of the b r o k e n!
HE is the GOD of the bruised!
HE is the God of the dis   jointed!
She silently prays and asks God to break her where she needs to be b r o k e n.
 She knows what needs to take place the wall needs to come down. He's willing to stay and he's willing to fight on his knees if he
must. Is she willing? Is she willing to take a step and trust fall into her Father's arms? Is she willing to open herself up once again? Is she willing to risk so much again? Is she willing to put her heart out there and possibly allow it to be shattered again?
She decides to walk obediently to the Father's will and entrust her heart to Him. He will Redeem what has been shattered. He will be the one to complete the two of them. To restore all the b r o k e n n e s s and help them to be broken together.
She takes the Father's hand and walks quietly but confidently.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

A few of my favorite things.

A few of my favorite things.

I found this wonderful slideshow maker!! Hope you will enjoy it and use it on your own blog!! Blessings friends!! Would love to know what you think of it!

Sunday, July 20, 2014

For The New Mother Today

You have been wheeled down the hallway, down to the lobby of the hospital, where the car awaits you to put the new gift that God has given to you in the car seat. You were kind and gracious to the nurses who came in at all hours to check your vitals and made sure that you seemed to be healing up just fine. The new babe in the car seat, with you seated by it now yawns and closes the tiny little eyes to dream more dreams and the car drives away to carry you home to start this new journey of Motherhood.


 You arrive home and ease your still swollen body out of the car. The new member has been brought into the house. You bend over the car seat with that glowing smile that you think will never leave your face and unstrap the over sized belts and latches. You slowly slide your hands underneath and lift up on frail arms. The little legs still together and held. You quietly walk down the hall to the room that you took so much time creating just perfectly for this little one as if to show him/ her their room for the first time.  You walk across the hallway to your room and gently place this tiny little body into the bassinet  that you have placed on your side of the bed for the first time. You hear those new baby gurgles and it melts every part of your heart. You have laid yourself down in hopes of getting some rest yourself, so weary from the last 2-3 days events and the toll it has taken on your body.

  It finally hits you hard as you look on into the bassinet . There are so many things you have never given thought to. How on this spinning earth can I ensure that I don't fail at the task that is now before me? How do I get this right on the days that will seem to go so wrong? What about S.i.d.s and all the other illnesses that can happen? Who will help me when I need help? When will the house work get done? When will I get my shower? Do you really have to go back to work?  This thing called nursing hurts way to much, What was I thinking when I committed to this in the hospital?


Your mother instinct has come alive in you and now you are washing your hands so much more often than you once did. You are making sure that the flood of visitors that will stream into your home the next few days have all washed their hands and that they are not sick and do I really want anyone else to hold this baby that has moved and kicked and breathed in my womb for the last 9 months?  The hospital told me not to allow people to come over for the next two months. So unsure, so much pressure to getting it all right!  The covers begin to wiggle and you see little pink arms lifting high and the legs extend upward. The next thing that comes is that un mistakeable new baby cry. The mouth wide open and all this little skin turns completely red from head to toe. Already hungry?  You think and say in your mind. I just fed you how can this be? So overwhelmed already with everything.


 You must slow down new mamma and breathe. This new baby stage does not last long at all. You think this will never end but it does all to soon . The sleepless nights will turn into sleeping full nights. The nursing really does get easier after baby has become a seasoned nurser. The pain really does go away and your swollen abdomen will go down. When someone asks to help you , let them! You need rest new mamma. This little one is depending on you to be at your best! Let someone else cook for you, clean for you, watch the baby while you sleep. Sleep when the baby sleeps.

God trusts you to take car of this precious little life. What a privilege you have been given to partner with God and pour yourself into someone else's life as He was poured out for your life! When in doubt of your own self, pray and ask for wisdom concerning this new life and how you must parent.  The scriptures say in Isaiah 40: 11 He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.
He will guide you into all the wisdom you need as you allow Him to parent you through parenting your young babe. Motherhood is a journey of sacrifice, most often times you will put this little one ahead of you and pluck out pieces of yourself to see to it that this little one has everything He / She needs. Remember he gave everything so you could have salvation through His death and ressurrection! Motherhood is a lifetime journey that will take you into the wildest of places and pour out on you the wildest of graces!

Loving you through Christ, New Mamma!
~ Lori

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

When Marriage And Life Is Just Plain Hard....Keep On Keepin` On!

I guess at some point it becomes this way. It doesn't happen over night. Although your emotions lie to you and say it does. No, it takes time to spiral down. Spending less and less time with one another. The kids always coming in place of the other. No date nights to rekindle the flames that was once there. Your hormones have changed so much since having the kids that it doesn't matter to you really.You just go to bed without even a good night kiss and rollover without having another thought because you are so exhausted from raising your children and being present in just about everything that happened during their day. You look at other couples you know and don't dare  ask the brave question. "Is this how it is for you too?" Would they even be brave back and tell you? 

You begin to feel all alone. Wanting to tell someone about how hard things are. Someone you could confide in. Someone who would pray hard for you. For you the "Big D" is not an option because God is so much bigger than any problem you have. He is in the business of redeeming anyway right? Is not your problem His problem to? You feel like you are just in survival mode and the light at the end of the tunnel is far, far away. Your children wonder why you are always so tired and don't feel much like taking them places to have fun. Can't they have fun at home? Do we always have to go somewhere? Questions always reeling in your spirit. Making you feel like a failure because aren't all the other Mother's taking their children to the park or swimming? 

The alarm rings loud and everything in you wants to crawl under the covers, hoping no one would notice if you did not get of bed that day. What does a season in your life like this teach you? You rise early trying to spend time with Heavenly Daddy and one of your littles chooses to get up early to. It goes on for weeks and you feel as if you are chasing your Heavenly Daddy and you will never catch time with Him because once the kids are up who can get a moment to spend in His prescence when you don't have a little one tugging at your shirt or pants. It is there you feel so drained of anything spiritual. You are dry inside and you feel no ounce of Holy Spirit power in you to accomplish anything small let alone grand. You come to the end of your rope and you realize that all this trying is from you. You need the only one who can rescue you from yourself. He has tugged at your heart long enough and your embitterment has gotten the better of you. Your efforts have left you completely exhausted. Everything that you have accomplished was done in your own tired strength. You cry out in complete desperation! "Lord please come and redeem this family, this life, this marriage! You don't want it to go any further than where it is . 

You give Him every burden you have carried. You confess all the ways you have wronged your spouse, your children and mostly Him. You begin to feel the heaviness in your heart lift away and the walls of your home seem a bit wider now. Not closing in on you like before. You begin to sense the Holy Spirit filling you with His supernatural resurrection power and you no longer do things in your own strength. Life is hard work! Marriage is hard work! When everything in you screams RUN!!! You stay because you know you don't want to be the reason a home comes to ruin. You don't want the enemy to gain the victory of another family come to an end! You are more than the enemy says you are. You keep on keepin' on because your Father can and will redeem anything your own hands have busted and broken. Ask Him!! He takes all our messes, all our shame, all our guilt, all our broken selves and turns them into one masterpiece that has a story that can't wait to be told!! Does it hurt to share that story? A resounding Yes!! Is there healing in the telling of it? A clanging Yes!! Be brave today soul. Cry out to him out of the desperate pit you are in. Ask Him to redeem the mess you have caused and give you the strength you need to keep on keepin' on. Your marriage is worth it. Your children are worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT TO HIM!!! 
Ask just for one person that he would bring to you. Someone who is a solid believer. One whom you could trust to confide in to share your hard days with. One whom would help you out with your children and give you a break. YOU ARE WORTH IT TO HIM!!! He will give you what you need to put one foot in front of the other even if it needs to be baby steps. Don't let yourself get comfortable in a place like this:

Let Him remove the chains that are binding you and let Him free you! 

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

 Psalm 91:1

Let your Father be your dwelling place. This is

 where true freedom will come from.

Daddy, I pray that if anyone is bound today that you would set them free. I pray that if they have busted and broken their family in anyway like I have that they would cry out to you and that you would redeem their mess as you continue to redeem my mess. I pray that if anyone needs a friend, that you would send one their way. Please send one my way too! Don't let your daughters continue to be beaten down and oppressed by the enemy. Free them so they may walk boldly and proclaim your glory through their redemptive story. In Jesus name I pray Amen!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

....And Her Theme Was Victory!

She had talked about it being the theme for her life this year. She has experienced small ones as well as big ones. Who knew that this year would be the year that she would experience the final victory... of running the race well... and making it to the finish line. She had been diagnosed a year ago with lung cancer. She had never smoked a day in her life but then again cancer is no respecter of person's nor  their lungs for that matter. She had a wonderful ministry. She humbly admitted when she had fallen short. It's what made her such a woman of the word. She knew from which her help came from. There would be no more high school graduations that she would attend. No more college graduations. No weddings. She would never get to feel the ache of wanting to hold that long awaited for Grandbaby. He would never sleep beside her again. He would never bring her that first cup of morning coffee. No good morning kiss. His devotional time would be spent with the Father by himself. They were the couple that you thought you would see at 90 years old still sitting next to one another holding each other's hands. I heard Him tell of so many times how He often would tell her how crazy He was about "His Bride".My heart wrenches for this Groom and for their children. Her last year was fought and fought well. She praised and she worshipped no matter what the circumstances. She celebrated each victory even the small and insignificant ones. She knew her great big God was very able and capable of healing her body with just a word. She knew deep down inside that cancer was not the real battle. No, the real battle for her would be fear. Fear for her children, fear for her husband, fear of not being able to be there in the future for her family. The fear that comes from the liar who would try and lie to her and have her to believe that God was not good and that she was not loved. But she fought against those lies, She chose to believe the truth. To live out the truth.That
God is good and we are always loved.

 God. is .good. and. I. am .always .loved!
She has already gone home and I'm sure that she has yet to make it up off her knees in front of the one who gave her the ultimate healing and met her at the finish line.

Daddy, our infinite minds have such a hard time wrapping around situations like these. Where a loved one returns to you when we are not ready for them to leave. I pray that you would give this groom the strength to put one heavy foot in front of the other. Give him extra measures of your grace in the nightly hours when he slips into bed and she is not there to kiss good night. I pray that you would comfort in the days to come, especially the birthday's, anniversaries, the upcoming wedding, the high school graduations, and college graduations. Comfort in the future when the grandbabies begin to arrive and there is no grandmother there welcome them here. Jesus I ask that your will would be done in this family as it is in heaven. In Jesus name I pray amen.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Who Knew Metamorphu Would Bring So Much Pain?

It came like a bomb exploding right into her face. Words that would set her reeling. A tone that she would imprint on her heart forever. All sorts of moments afterward questioning "What had she done so wrong?" "What had she said so wrong?" She had traveled to visit with him and all seemed the same. She had many chances to ask the questions that she was naturally curious about. Things like " How long have you been dating?", "What is she like?", "Where did you meet her?". Never knowing that all the while with each question her Father felt as if he was under some kind of federal investigation. Sunday had come and her family packed up all their belongings to travel the long road home. She would receive more news in the day ahead. They had set their wedding date. It was a more serious relationship than what she had been led to believe. There was so much secrecy surrounding this whole relationship. I guess her curiosity got the best of her. She had told him dinner was getting cold and it was. She had cried her way through each bite and every sip. Her heart feeling as if it might explode and all she wanted to do was implode. But her God met her there and gently spoke to her putting his firm but gentle hand on her mouth keeping her from lashing back with words that would only drive a wedge deep in heart flesh. A wedge that could last years. She did not want that conversation to end in that manner. She heaved and shoulders wracked hard through story time and she fell asleep worn out from the emotional wave that crashed hard on her already tired body.
      If butterflies could speak would they talk of pain in the metamorphu process?
Would they speak of how their bodies must go through a hard physical process to be made so beautiful?
If an infant could speak to us moments after they are born would they tell us of how their body has been wrapped up tight  and being birthed was far more than what they bargained for? Would they speak of how each push only caused more pain and how their head felt as if it would just squeeze right off their shoulders.
Each Mother's story is different but if you know anything about birthing you would know that pain comes before any beauty does. How can someone we love so much cause us such great pain?
She feels wrapped up tight swaddled if you will in her heavenly Father's arms. She is choosing joy and no fear. She does not even want the enemy to get a foothold on her or her relationship with her Dad. Even though she has not been invited she will choose joy , she will choose to live eucharisteo and breathe YAWEH. After the day is done and all is said, She knows because what a heart knows it knows by heart. Eucharisteo precedes the miracle.
Would love to hear from you today to if you are choosing eucharisteo, if you are choosing no fear. Would you pull up your big comfy chair and your coffee cup? Would you be willing to share your hard story today too? I am ready to listen!
Continuing  to count His  gifts during the process of Metamorphu
5,995. Safe travels
5,996. Being able to stay home during artic weather days
5,997. Being able to blog my stories while "joy girl" naps.
5,998. Letting the sun go down on my anger. * Hard Eucharisteo.
5,999. one who tries to sweep arguments under the rug. * Hard Eucharisteo.
*6,000. Looking to the only one who can rescue and redeem.
6,001. For giving a sister in Christ who battles with cancer the strength to walk from the bed to the bathroom.
6,002. Finding out your Dad is dating and getting married in one week and the crazy emotional head spin that comes with it.
6,002. Him wanting to keep the whole thing under wraps.
6,003. The terrible argument that ensued days later. Super hard Eucharisteo.
6,004. The Holy Spirit's hand on my mouth giving me the power not to lash back with hurtful words.
6,005. God there with me through every wave of yelling, Him holding me up on His wings.
6,006. Choosing to fly rather to be chained.
6,007. Not an orphan but a daughter of the KING!
6,008. Being lavishly loved by my Abba!
6,009.Him hearing me when I cry out to Him.
6,010. Not fearing the one who can cut me down emotionally.
6,011. Him seeing and hearing everything.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

When Your Dad Moves On And You're Not Ready

The call came on a Friday. I had to brace myself hard against it. It blew right through every joint in my body leaving me feeling stunned and knocked to me feet. He is lonely and feels like he needs the companionship of another lady. I had to find this news out from my sister. I thought He would eventually take this step maybe 4-5 years down the road. But not a year and 2 months after her passing. "I'm not ready for this I told her". It was my sister's birthday and it was not the kind of news you deliver to someone on their birthday. I began the waiting game. Waiting to see if he would call to tell me. The waiting brought nothing. Several days finally passed between this conversation and still time brought nothing. As if time were standing still on my end waiting to see if could gather up what he needed to let me in on his news. Finally, we had decided to go home and visit. We were able to catch a break in the 

weather and all was quiet in the next few days. I called him to let Him know that we would be arriving over the weekend. He was out I presumed , spending time with his new friend. 
As the evening hours crept by I kept noticing the time and felt as if he should have called by now. I felt like a parent waiting for their child to come rolling in the driveway. Around 9:00 p.m. he calls. He's all jolly and I'm a bit nervous to speak with him. He speaks of sorry's and I've been out's. I ask him if he's been visiting with his sister. He typically stays out late when he's there. They are close siblings and one's jokes are just as corny as the other's. Your sides would hurt for days after a visit with them. He's quiet now. I can tell he's fumbling for words, fumbling for courage to say them. He speaks it slow, unsure of how it would be received. I act all surprised not letting on that I have already been told. I ask how long he has been seeing her. What he laughingly says next brings my spirit down. Makes tears brim and flow. He says He has been seeing her since Oct. I don't understand why the secret. Why had he not told us. Why did he think he needed to wait. Mom had went home a year and two months ago. I can remember her saying that it would be good for him down the road to meet someone and not spend his remaining days here on this spinning globe by himself. Did he think we would be angry, hurt? I'm more hurt that he played it off as if it were no big thing, the waiting, the secret. My heart splits and it to mourns. Mourns for my Mamma. Mourns for life being so different now. Every holiday, birthday, Mother's Day ,just different. I'm sad I guess because I can't seem to just let go of my Mamma. Will I see her again ? Yes, She loved Jesus so very much! I feel he has let her go and is now ready to move forward. I knew God planted this one word in my life for this New Year. He is planning to metamorphu life beginning with my immediate family. I must say I did not see this one coming. 

Daddy, this one is hard to handle. I count it as a very hard Eucharisteo. Would you give me the courage to accept this new relationship in my life. Would you give me the courage to accept my Dad's decision to move forward in this New Year. Help me to have a welcoming heart. In Jesus sweet and holy name I pray Amen. 
Is. 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

My One Word For The New Year Lens " Metamorphu"

It might look like and even sound like the strangest word that you have heard. He had said it from the pulpit and it has stuck with me since then. I can feel it taking place deep within. Something new, something fresh, something that is holy and only explained through the power of His Spirit. I still myself and slow in Him in the quiet of the morning.
Reflecting back on Christmas and turning our Christmas upside down this year.  to go further into relationship with Him who saves completely. We traveled along with Mary to Bethlehem to see Him born. Looking in to a new year with Christ guiding the way. I want to draw myself tight folding into
Him so I can hear completely what He wants to do through me.
I lean into His beautiful grace and keep counting His gifts. Looking for each one daily in the messy, the mundane, the hard, the beautiful moments of life. I look forward to unfurling my wings into Him.
and catching my flight on the power of
His Spirit. There is so much of myself I want to leave behind, the sin of perfection, the lack of self control I have to want to be in control of everything and every moment. I want to put away self so that He can become greater in me and through me. I want to focus on others more and there needs. I want to submit more to my husband instead of wanting to control our family. I want Him to lead us all the way. Lord please help me to stay out of his way so he can lead his family like you want him to. These are not the mere resolutions one would make for new years. These are more desires that His heart wants for me and my growth in Him. I want to keep counting His gifts in this new year because it is the only way to lasting and true joy. I have seen what he has done in me since I started keeping this journal of gratitude and it is a most beautiful thing. How I praise His beautiful name for breaking me out of my pit.
 breaking me out of the chains that me bound for so long. Daddy, I look forward to this new thing that you have begun within my heart. I'm excited about 2014 and all that you will do  in me to  metamorphu me.
May you be the power in my wings who compels me to fly forward!

How are you wanting God to Metamorph you in this coming year?

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Psst! I'm having my first giveaway and your invited!

 Eucharisteo. I type it big and proclaim it everywhere. I proclaim it in the warmth of my home in many ways.



 It is a word I will never forget. It is the only way to Live and Breathe. This slowing to Give thanks to HIM who grows our faith in the GOOD, the BAD, the MESSY, and the right down gritty parts of daily life. 


  This slowing to Live thanks to Him who was and is and is to come. The one in whom we have our being. I keep it close by, my gratitude journal. Where I meet with Jesus to live out this Eucharistic life.

Me keeping track of all his grace gifts. The good ones, the hard ones, the make you uncomfortable in your own skin ones. The ones that fill you with pure joy, and the ones that make you bend low with your face to floor in utter helplessness. God used one joy sister to bring me out of the darkest place I had ever been.

To free me from the chains I had put on myself

It was through Him and his message of joy that opened that door.
 It was His message through her that I found joy in Him. True , pure, heaven heart splitting joy!

If you are new to this word it simply means, "Thanks". Jesus had a meal, with his disciples the night before he was crucified. He broke bread and told them he too would be broken just like the bread because he IS the bread. He lifted the bread just as he would to be lifted and he gave thanks  (Eucharisteo in the greek) for this bread. His life poured out for us. His life broken for us.

I too want to live as he lived while on this earth. Giving thanks for everything because it is how to live full of joy. 

As a celebration of this joy I am partnering with this sweet sister who made the beautiful blocks posted above for my first ever giveaway.
  This sweet sister is donating her beautiful nativity set to give away. Here is the link to view this beautiful piece.

I will be giving away a copy of Ann's book" One Thousand Gifts" because dear one I want you to find true heaven heart splitting joy too!

This is  our Christmas Gift to you!
 All you have to do is post your way of celebrating His coming into the world by clicking "links to this post " at the bottom of this post to leave your story. I will fill a hat with everyone's names and will have good and perfect gift draw that name out of the hat the week before Christmas so you to can be on your way to your own scavenger hunt of His grace gifts and finding joy!  Thank you for being a part of the beautiful  way to find His joy!

~ All glory for  and to Him

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A Letter To The Single Mom Today

The week is drawing to a close. I'm worn out. I have with His strength been able to carry on. He has given me an extra measure of strength that I can really supernaturally feel. My thoughts had been reeling deep within of all of you who do this longer than I have had to. You walk this journey 24/7 and the only way to get through it really is on your knees. My heart swelled with pain as I thought of you and compassion for you has overtaken me. Please forgive me for all the times that I have taken for granted my husband.

I want to apologize to you today single Mom. I'm sorry for all the times you have gone to the grocery store and had to carry your groceries into the house by yourself with your infant on your hip.


  I'm sorry for all the times you have to get your children up by yourself and get them ready for school with no one to help you stay calm while they rant and rave of not wanting to get up and go.

I'm sorry for all the people that walk right by you and don't even offer a hand to help you pick up the things you have dropped because you busy keeping the children safe.

I'm sorry you have to work long hours with very little pay to make ends meet. That you don't get to pick your children up from after school care until late in the evening.

I'm sorry that you have to come home and bathe all of them by yourself and make sure everyone has brushed their teeth.

I'm sorry that their is very little time for stories before bed because you.just.can'.t go. on. and all you want to do is fall into your own bed and sleep!

I'm sorry that your family does not understand your situation and you feel alienated by the world because all they can do is ridicule your every move.

Please forgive me for every time I have walked passed you and have not offered you a smile or a hand to help lighten the emotional strain.

I want you to know He has not forgotten you. He has engraved you on the palms of his hands many years ago when he stretched them out wide for you on the cross. He sees you and sees your singleness and has sent us to minister to you but we have failed you and not been obedient to him who sent us.
       Please forgive him and please forgive us for not being obedient when he asked us to pay for your groceries.  Please forgive us for all the times we did not call you or knock on your door with a meal to help lighten your load.
Please forgive us for all the times we did not offer to watch your children to give you a much needed break so you could get things done or take a long nap. Please forgive us for not inviting you to church with us so you could meet the one who sees your singleness and says" I know".

I have began praying for you single Mom, I have only experienced a few days of what you walk through daily but I'm asking for Him to send you not only help but obedient hearts that won't fail you. Hearts that would love to open their arms to you and I have started first with myself. I love you sinlge Mom and please know Christ does to and he sees and he knows.

With a heavy broken heart for you
~ Lori


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

When you have to stand strong for your spouse

The storm looms big. Waiting to take him over. His mother has passed away. With her death comes an unexpected cost that overwhelms the soul and threatens to break him into. He's worried and full of anxiety. He's wondering how this bill will be paid. I Talk on the phone with our benevolence  ministry at church. They have said they will pay $500.oo towards the bill. They took up a collection at his job while he was away for the funeral. They wanted to help pay towards the funeral. They collected $140.00. God is faithful I tell him. He's walking towards a pit and has climbed down in. He's hanging on the side with white knuckled hands grasping to loosened dirt. I tell him he has to fight for joy. One can only win this type of battle when you fight for joy. He says he's too tired to fight. I tell him to fight on his knees. Keep his own gratitude journal. It's the only way to stay out of the pit really. By learning to give thanks in all circumstances and to live the Eucharistic life is to gain pure God filling joy. I find him a notebook for him to begin scrawling out his own messy list of crazy joy as Ann puts it. I tell him as she says "You must use a pen an wield it as a sword." I tell him the enemy is winning. He says nothing. In the morning he gets ready for work. I lay notebook in the dim lit kitchen. He asks when he is supposed to write in this. I tell him when he begins to worry, when he is fearful and afraid. When he is tempted to think that $8,ooo dollars is bigger than his Heavenly Father. When he thinks he is going to crack big and long and fall hard. He takes the notebook to work with him. He leans down to give good- bye kisses soft on my lips. I walk him to the door and see him out.
I to must continue to give thanks for the hard Eucharisteo's . I can't and won't give up fighting for joy.

Oh Father, I know he is so worried to death about how this bill will get paid. I don't know why things have unfolded as they have. If she had only hung on 6 more weeks. Her life insurance would be paying this bill instead of us. 6 weeks! Would you help us in our unbelief? Would you teach us in this time? Would you help us to seek you with our whole hearts, down on our faces? Give my husband the power, Holy Spirit to fight or joy in the hard Eucharisteo. don't let him give up. Continue to grow his faith by leaps and bounds. I love him so much and don't want to see him become a pit dweller. Daddy, please raise him up on eagles wings so that he will soar, so that he will walk and not grow faint. In the mighty most Holy name of Jesus I pray, amen.

If you feel led by God to give please be obedient to his calling . We ask for your help. You can send a donation to

                         Malone Funeral Home
                           325 Malone Lane
                          Grayson, Ky 41143

Tell them you would like to make a donation towards Youvannah Blevins funeral expenses.
Thank you kind friend for your love gift. My humblest thanks to you.
~ Lori

Giving thanks for the hard and in the hard eucharisteo.

5,005. His Mom's passing.
5,006. us finding out she was receiving only palliative care.
5,007. Her keeping us in the dark.
5,008. Us having been made responsible for her funeral expenses.
5,009. The Father putting us in the fire to give us a glimpse of just how BIG he is.
5,010. The ugly fallout.
5,011. The humbling of asking for help.



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