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Friday, October 21, 2011

The mess that I am, and the Crazy Love Grace that covers.

How often I have not been the one who I was created to be. How often I have been the yelling," I'm too tired sweetheart", Mother. I have been  the complacent and complaining wife, not willing to give my husabnd the attention and love that all to often he desires. I have been in close company with the spirit of bitterness and not the Spirit of God. I had allowed myself to spin out of control. Most times I would run and run and run, then run some more, thinking I could escape myself,my bitterness, my Son's issues, my anger. There was no escape. I was in a prison that I had built and I put my own chains on and put myself in my own cell and locked the door.




I began asking for help. No one could hear me because I was in such a dark place. This was not depression this was a deep spiritual stronghold of bitterness and anger, just a pit of despair. I did not want to be here! Why I allowed this to happen is beyond me. I began screaming louder! This time I tried calling out to the one who created me! " Help me Lord Jesus" I need you to come and rescue me!


He did that very thing! He came to rescue me out of the slimy pit that I allowed myself to sink into.

The beautiful, crazy, love, grace that
God will spill into the life of one of his children is sometimes hard to put into words until you have experienced it.
It reall did feel like he shined the light on me while I was in my pit.

He set my despaired feet back on solid rock again. He is teaching me how to be the Mom, wife and Child that he created me to be

He has freed me from the chains and the prison that I put myself in. I really thought I was a gonner. The Lord says in his beautifully inspired love message to all of us. Taste and see that the Lord is Good! Taste and See that the Lord is Good! I tasted and saw that he is Always good and I am always loved!
He has given me so many people in my life who are dealing with these same issues that I have in my life. He is teaching me to rediscover the best friend that I married almost 20 years ago. He is teaching me to be a Mom that bonds instead of a Mom that manages. He is taking away my knee jerk reaction to scream and is instilling a heart that can be thankful in meltdowns, and heart that can be more patient. A Heart of Gratitiude for  that  specially created perfect and good gift in my Son. He has covered me with the shadow of his wings and has rained down a multitude of showers of blessings in my life.


so, I invite you today, If you have found yourself in a deep dark pit, that you have allowed yourself to sink into and have put your chains on , locked yourself in and thrown away the key. I invite you
Taste and see that the Lord is good! Allow him to pick you up and rescue you from  the pit.

How I praise you Lord Jesus for this ugly pit time in my life. without it I would have never known how beautiful your Crazy, Love Grace really is. Thank you for rescuing me Father, In Jesus name Amen

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