The Day Mamma Went Home And How Life Has Changed

It was coming up on her second week in the Hosparus facility. Her physical body was deteriorating daily. It had become evident that she was headed for home. She became incoherent and she was in so much pain the morphine kept her comfortable. God had given her children a wonderful gift the first of that week. He had woken her up at 11:30 so her children could talk to her and tell her one last time how much they loved her and she could return her love once more. Saddened for myself and the unborn baby girl I carry in my womb, my mind took me on a ride that would bring wave after wave of emotion. Thoughts of this precious little gift not knowing her beautiful Grandmother. Mom not being there with me to witness her birth and see her for the first time.

  The many Mother's Day's that I would spend without my Mother. The many days that,"If only I could  call her and tell her about". The many Christmas' that we would spend without her. It was her favorite Holiday of the year. The Holiday of all Holiday's when God  sent his tiny babe Son  into the world to rescue it from sin. 
I forced these thoughts away. I wanted to go where I knew where she had gone. Home. To be with her Savior, the one who died for her, the one who had rescued her from sin. The one who would perfect her soul and body. The one who rose from the dead for her. The one who will wipe away every tear from her eye. The one who would see to it that suffering and disease would have no place in His kingdom.

                                           
 The one who would finally set her free from the prison of a body that she had lived in for 25 years. She was now free to walk , to dance, to sing, to run, to skip. Free from Multiple Sclerosis, free from liver damage, free from all the medications that caused her liver to fail, free from sitting in Doctor's offices for hours waitng to be seen. My Mamma is now FREE!! How she must love Heaven and all the sights that she must be seeing. How she must have fell at His feet when she saw her Rescuer for the first time. How she must be so humbled to get to worship Him daily face to face. She had not been able to attend church in years. Now she has the ultimate time of worship around His throne!
                                          
                                       
 It has been a few weeks ago and I do miss her. I miss hearing her contagious laughter. I miss her voice. I do miss our wonderful conversations about the Lord and what he is doing in our lives. I know I will take many first steps without my Mom in this life. however I have the same Rescuer to walk with me through all of these times to give me comfort and lift me up when my heart grieves for her. I too will one day worship alongside of her the one who gave his life for us around his throne.

Daddy, I do miss my Mamma very much. There is a terrible void in my heart for her. I need you to be my strength and power to make it through each day. Be my Dad's strength and comfort as well he needs you so much. Be our family's hiding place and place of refuge. Be the solid rock on which we will be able to stand. Use my Mother's passing to bring my lost sister and brother into relationship with you Daddy. It is on the power, honor, and wisdom of your precious son I pray, Amen.

Songs that have helped me when days are tough. God has always used music to minister to my soul.



                                                                

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