There May Be Pain In The Night, But "Joy" Comes In The Morning

I have been mourning the loss of my Mother, wanting to share my days with her, I miss calling her and hearing her voice. I have been dealing with an array of emotions that I can only look to my heavenly Daddy to help me walk through. I have cried more in the past two weeks than I have cried in the past two months leading up to her departure to her heavenly home. My Daddy has been my strength. I have had to lean heavy upon him to carry me through this. My pain at times has been hard to bare but my strength comes from the one who can help me to bare the pain of loss. He lost his Son on a cruel cross. He watched as his Son took his last breath. He watched the suffering of his Son as he was beaten beyond recognition. He knows what I'm going through.I breathe and I let him carry me. He knows my pain in the night and yet he has brought me "joy" in the morning. I was induced at 9:00 a.m. and my joy was born at 3:55. Her name means "joy". Her middle name means "full of Grace". It means alot to our family to have a name that means something. God saw to it that names meant a great deal in scripture. His name "Iam" means He is, He was, and He will be.

       My sweet joy girl was born almost 3 weeks  ago. I look at her tiny feet. I wonder just where will God have these tiny feet go for him. Where will they walk? Will they go to places unknown? Will they go to far away places to carry the gospel? Will they trod the soil that Jesus once walked on? How many peole will hear the gospel becasue of where these feet will go?

Her Daddy holds her in his hands and it makes me realize just how small I really am in the hands of my Daddy. How he holds me and talks to me and tells me how much he loves me. It causes me to see the Daddy's love for His Daughter. Her Daddy smiles all over her and yet has a protective hedge around her to protect her from anyone that would do her harm. His hands are strong enough to hold her and carry her through the storms. He won't let her fall.

Her tiny little mouth with her puckered lips. How many opportunities will the Father give her to share Jesus with those who don't yet know him? Will she be a  fisher of men with the words she will speak? Will she be an encourager, building people up with her words? Will she be a person of peace with the words she will speak? Will she speak life into those around her?
To raise a daughter of the King, I don't feel equipped yet, but I know he has already given me everything I need to bring her up in His righteousness, His purity, His justice and mercy. I will look to him because He is where my help comes from.
Good and perfect gift has fallen in such love with his sister. He has no jealousy for her at all. He adores her and he fusses over her as if he is a protector over her as well. I praise him for being such an amazing big brother. He desires to help out with her at every given chance. I wonder how nuch more their love for one another will grow over the years and the closeness they will one day share between the two. How blessed she is to have a big brother that loves her so much already and wants to help take care of her. I feel so blessed to be able to experience joy in the midst of pain. How my Father knew what was ahead and the joy he was to bring out of loosing my Mom. I know she must be so proud of her. She favors her somewhat. I look forward to many days ahead of telling her about her Grandmother and her love for Christ and how she was instrumental in my walk with my Daddy.
Daddy, the pain of loosing my Mom has been the greqatest pain I have ever walked through but you have proven yourself faithful and during my pain in the night, you have brought "joy" in the morning. I thank you so much for holding me just as our little joy girls' Daddy held her. Thank you for loving me and smiling all over me. Thank you for allowing no harm to come to me Daddy. I love you!
Your daughter~

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