She calls me to tell me of her decision to opt out of trying to get a liver transplant. I'm quiet with anticipation of her "Why". I listen very quietly and let her do all the talking. She tells me how tired she is. How very worn out she is. She dreams of the day she will see her Master face to face. She tells me how it is His decision to heal. It is his body to do as he pleases. She tells me of how she is trusting in Him to do what he sees as best. I want to cry but nothing comes. No warm wet stinging the face, Strangely, I too feel His prescence and peace in this moment. The same peace that I hear in her voice. My mind runs very far ahead begs the question, What will life be without my Mother. The one who taught me about Jesus. The one who sacrificed countless hours of sleep, The one who loved me no matter how much I rebelled in my young teenage life. The one who sat up at night with me when I had stomach viruses. She would always hold my head, keep my hair pulled back out of my face and let me sleep in her bed with her. My father worked nights so this was her way of pouring out His Grace upon me. Showing me what His love really looked like. Always making a scarifice to make sure we had the things we needed.
I can sing today because of the many years I have had with my Mamma. I'm singing because she has faith in a great big God. I'm singing because when the day comes it won't be a good -bye but "Ill see you soon". I'm singing today because she has peace and is not afraid. I'm singing today because the Holy Spirit is filling me full of His peace.
I'm singing today because I know that in the heavenly realm God is doing great things in spite of this liver disease that my Mom has. I can sing today becayse I know that God will be much good out of this life that will fade as a flower a beautiful flower that bloomed for Him and His kingdom. May she take more to heaven in her wake Lord. May there be many of our unsaved family awakened to you in her death and may she rejoice with the Angels when each of them come to know you because of the great and wonderful thing you are doing in her life. I'm singing today Jesus because of you. Because of you I can sing. because of your love and faithfulness, I can sing. Because of your new tender mercies, ever day I can sing. You are a good God. I am always loved. My Mom is always loved. You have been so good to my Mom. Thank you for your goodness to my Mom over the years. Thank you for the many years that you have given me with my beautiful Mother.
Counting more of the hard Eucharisteao:
1,150.Mom's liver disease
1,151. Mom's decision to opt out of a liver transplant.
1,152. The many years I have has with my Mom
1,153. Being able to sing inspite of Mom's decision
1,154. The peace that passes all understanding
1,155. The amazing power of the Holy Spirit to minister to your spirit.
1.156. Praying with my Mamma