Saying Good-Bye

remember like it was yesterday, us bringing her home.Me all giddy and full of excitement to have my very first pet. Sweet hubby not so enthused, full of indifference. She was so scared riding in the car. I put her on my lap so she would find comfort but still her tiny little body trembled and she cried out all the way home. She was charcoal grey with 4 white sock-footed feet. The most beautiful green eyes. Her tiny little pink nose was one that was the pinkest of pinks!

(all pictures posted are pictures from bing, this is just what our bijou looked like.)
 A fiesty little spirit that would land her in trouble more times than I was prepared for. I loved how she would tiger pounce at everything that moved. She would walk about our home as if she owned the place. She did!
She came to be with us because I could not face what her alternative was. She was the only one left of her siblings. We saved her from certain death. She became like my child. Waking me in the early morning because she was hungry, wanting to sleep in the same bed. Doing things throughout the day that was not appropriate behavior. Climbing on things, breaking things in her wake. She would scale a wall to sit in the highest of window sills, leaving  back claw marks on the wall. We would come home from being out of town for the weekend and inevitably something would be torn up or broken. I still wonder if it was because she was mad at us for leaving her. When she would sit in my lap all the things she had done would disipitate in my mind and I would love on her and tell her how much I loved her.

The last check up at the vet's office revealed she had a heart murmor. He looked me square in the eyes and told me this will only get worse. Me knowing what that word worse meant. I guess i though I had maybe a few more months left with her. I did not know that it meant weeks. Weeks came to days and days came to minutes. He final week with us was a hard one. She began not eating and drinking enough to sustain her life. Mostly sleeping, not even purring when I would be around her. How sad my heart felt, every morning I would rise and dread going upstairs, this is where she decided to stay this last week. I thought I would find her all curled up in her little bed having left this world in the night sometime. I was not prepared for what her final day would be like. I got up and went upstairs. I fould her laying in the bathtub,not albe to get up. She would try but kept falling down . It was so hard to see her like this. I knew what decision I was going to have to make this day. Tears welled up,and brimmed over onto warm cheeks. Hard knots formed in my throat. My sweet hubby awoke and came upstairs to me on the floor sobbing, he took one look in the bathroom and he to knew what this day would have to bring. He calls off work o be with his family. 
Our little Bijou would have to be put to sleep.One of the hardest things I have ever had to do. She been with us for 17 years. Good and perfect gift had only known her for a short time. He too was terribly sad that his "favorite cat buddy" was dying and going to die. 
We had to bathe her she smelled of urine. We put her in the sink and bathed her body. She had lost so much weight from not eating and drinking. It was just like bathing only bones with fur on them. Her gum,lips ,nose and inside of ears were white where her blood was not circulating through her body. 
I held her and dried her off in some old bath towels, I took my hair dryer, turned it on low and dried her fur. I wanted to hold onto this animal with everything in me. This would be the last time I would know her and feel her love. Once cleaned up I asked good and perfect gift if he wanted to hold her. This wold be the only time he would ever get to hold her. She never would get close enough to him for that. He held her and said good -bye. Asked me if he could kiss her. I said yes. He kissed her on her head and handed her back to me. Sweet hubby got her pet taxi and put a towel in it for her to lay on. I phoned the vet to tell him of the decision we had made,as best as he could he tried to comfort. I told him I would not be coming. I could not handle her final moments dyeing in my arms. I held her one last time, I kissed her and rubbed my head against  hers. Tears rolling one after the other. I could not control them. Come to find out neither could sweet hubby. He came home eyes all swollen and red. I knew he felt something for her but to what extent I did not know. He told me , he turned her face to him and she was looking at him the whole time. He held her in his arms. Her feeling his warmth and love for her one last time.  
He brought her back home for us to bury. He went to the building and found some scraps of wood. Be built her a tiny casket. One that would hold her frail body and protect it from any animals.
He handwrote the message on the lid of this little box. He too loved her and found it very hard to let this little member of our family go. So we say good -bye to our bijou. We gather around this homemade box to say good bye. Good and perfect gift still brimming tears down his cheeks alongside of his Momma. Sweet hubby holds his family close prayes for his family and the loss that we will hold dear to our hearts forever.
We love and miss you bijou!

God we give you thanks for allowing us to have been a care giver of one of your small creatures. Thank you for the seventeen years we had with her. Thsnk you for the swwet and the hard final moments we had with her to say good- bye. May you continue to comfort our broken hearts in the days to come. In Jesus precious and holy name. Amen

Unwrapping more of his very hard Eucharisteo gifts here today
2,272.Having to put our little bijou to sleep.
2,273.Sweet hubby taking her because I could not.
2,274. Sweet hubby holding her face to face while she died in his arms.
2,275.Sweet hubby coming home with red swollen eyes.
2,276. Sweet hubby building her little casket.
2,277. Our family gathering around her tiny little box for our last good-byes.
2,278. The way our hearts feel afetr losing our pet of seventeen years.
2,279.Good and perfect gift drawing a picture of her to help him say good-bye.




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