The First Journey Home

We had laughed as we traveled listening to Adventures In Odessy. We had listened to it twice. The stories had carried us all the way to her house. We had pulled into the driveway. It was dark by the time we had arrived. Dad had left the light on for us even though he went to visit my sisters home. The car had come to a complete stop. We began getting our luggage out of the car for our stay on Thanksgiving Weekend. It was the first time I had been home since Mom went to her heavenly home. I had carried a couple of bags up the ramp and into the house. I did not know it was going to be this hard. My eyes began to brim and flow. There was no stopping what my heart was experiencing. The ache of the broken heart seems to never mend. 

                           (these were taken at christmas last year)
Her corner now empty. Where she once had set for days on end enjoying shows with my Dad. It was now hollow. Her lift chair had been given to Grandmother and a small glider rocker had been put back in its place. Overwhelmed with grief, I made my way back to the car to get my second round of luggage. Tears streaming. We had decided to stay there because there was more room for our newly grown family. I just did not realize how hard it was going to be. Thanksgiving Day was much different than years past. There was no fixing a plate for her. There was no laughter and conversation from her. There was only an emptiness in my heart. A longing to have her here. We had our dinner at my Grandmother's she had wanted noone to cook. I had offered multiple times but the answer always came back with a definitive "No". I missed the joy of preparing a family meal something that might have taken my mind off of my emptiness. My grandmother had ordered her meal from her local grocer.  We sat around the table and gave thanks. I silently gave thanks for hope that I would see my Mamma again. Gave thanks that her thanksgiving had to be a glorious one in heaven. After our visit with my grandmother we had stopped off at the cemetary for me to see Mom's stone. It had come in a few weeks back and Dad was so proud of how pretty it was. I wanted to make it a point to see it. Mom would have been so proud of his choosing. It was bitterly cold that day and the wind wipped my hair this way and that. I had to keep reminding my self that my Mother's cold body was just the shell that I had loved on for years that her true form was in heaven all warm in the Father's love. The cemetary was completely empty. There was no other there. I bent down and touched the cold earth giving way to a kiss for my Mamma. Telling her I loved and missed her and how poud she would be of our new little joy girl. My heart ached as I left, not really wanting to leave but just to linger a while longer. I had to get going our trip back home was going to be a long one and we had two tired little ones in the car. Tears brimmed and flowed for a whie on our trip back home. Good and perfect gift tells me at one point,"Mommy, I'm so sorry that you lost your Mommy". This made made the tears flow that much more. I tell him thank you but that we would see her again someday and that she is safe in the Father's prescence. I'm not looking as forward to Christmas as I had in years past. The second trip home may be a little easier than the first. We continue our new tradition of our Jesse Tree. Looking forward to a tiny babe that came a couple throusand years ago to rescue those who were perishing. A world that needs to be redeemed each soul needing a perfect saviour. Mom was redeemed and now she has been rescued from this world.She now is experiencing her first Christmas in heaven. Oh what the celebration must be like!

Daddy, I miss my Mamma so much. Thank you for her life and how she lived for you. Thank you for rescuing her. Please let her know In some way I love her and look forward to seeing her again someday. Be with my Dad give him new graces everyday to continue on without her. Give him daily strength to walk with you. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

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