For The Days When Your Temper Gets The Best Of You.

We had enjoyed it so much. The movie, the dinner out. We had a sitter for good and perfect gift and our little joy girl. It had been a whole year since our last date night. We were celebrating our 21st anniversary. The day we said "I do" to one another for the duration of time that we have here.
We don't get to do this often enough but had said last night that we needed to make a point to do this so much more often. We needed to be refreshed. We needed reconnection. We needed time alone to have conversation just for us.

The movie has lasted 3 hours plus dinner out. We had six hours to spend together just us. It was wonderful. We sat hand in hand at the theatre. He had opened doors for me. I felt like I did when we dated. I prettied myself up for him and decided to wear something nice instead of something stained.
How much fun we had together. It came time for our evening to come to an end. I called our sitter to let her know we were on our way home. I had asked her to let good and perfext gift know that his evening was coming to an end to. As usual he never likes to leave when he is having so much fun. Our sitter has two boys of her own and a little girl. He loves playing at there house. We get our children home only for the evening to fall completely apart. Good and perfect gift turns into a whinning mess. I turn into an even bigger mess. It is time for our bedtime routine to begin and he does everything except want to get ready for bed.


He piddles around and I'm impatient. Tomorrow is Sunday and we have to get  up early for church. I know what he's like if he doesn't get enough sleep. I want him to be able to have a good morning with his teachers. I begin to take steps of discipline and take away some privileges. It's later by tome moment and now we have no time for story time. He still piddles and my temper is running thin, I begin to boil inside because I'm missing out on a very special moment of my day to. I enjoy our special nights together as a family reading stories together, praying together, tucking my children in for the night. My little joy girl is sleeping at the moment. She gts her last bottle at 10:oo before she goes to sleep for the night. I finally raise my voice at him and take away every single privilege he has. He bellows out this scream and I bellow one back at him because he has now woken up his sister and she too is screaming. My husband is trying his best to pull us down a notch and he too is frustrated at us but remains calm. I finally tell my husband he needs to tuck good and perfect gift in because I'm done for the night. I kiss good and perfect gift on the cheek, tell him that Mommy is going on to bed to calm down, that I will see him in the morning. Feeling terrible I go downstairs to try and sooth our little joy girl, she feels her mommy's tense arms pick her up and she to has a hard time calming down. She is scared. I sit down in the rocking chair with her and begin to rock her. 

The motion of the rocking not only soothes her but me too. After getting her calm I lay her back down to let her know it is time to go back to bed and sleep. I drift off with feelings of failure. It's not until morning that I am reminded of forgiveness. I repent, ask for forgivness. Know that I'm restored and loved my by my heavenly Daddy. I also apologize to good and perfect gift for my behavior to him as well and I'm restored by him and am loved by him as well. The enemy has not won. It might seem to him that he did but love covers a multitude of sins. Love wins over evil every day of the week. Moment by moment I need my Daddy to walk me through the tough moments of my parenting.

Daddy, thank you that you forgive and forget my sin. Thank you that my son loves me unconditionally. Thank you that I can have victory over the enemy because of Christ and his forgivness. I love you Daddy.
your daughter~


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