Living To Carry The Cross, Learning To Live The Hard Eucharisteo

W e meet at Starbucks. It has been a while since we last talked. She has walked my path. She has children who have some of the same gifts as good and perfect gift. She is older and wiser than I. I should have brought pen and notebook to take notes on the wisdom she would pass along for today.                                                  I'm not a coffee drinker so I just sit and soak up all of her godly wisdom. That will be my "caffeine" for the day. God will use this Christ sister to urge me on today as caffeine does for others. This, This wisdom will be what keeps me on the road to persevere in my life journey with Him who set me free. To press on as a Wife and Mother.             ...

T he day has worn long. We have had a full day of homeschooling, playing, and housework. Sweet Hubby has been down for several days now with an upper respiratory infection. He comes home weary and needing much rest from his day. He needs to heal and healing can only come when we can stop and rest this body. He lays down and sleeps into the evening hours allowing his body to be healed by the Creators hands. Tonights dinner shall be a quick and easy one. Chicken noodle for Sweet Hubby. Chicken rings and tater tots for good and perfect gift. A protein shake and some fruit for me. Not really much hungry.    We eat in the warmeth of candle light's glow some days. It helps to calm our family and eases us into the night hours. We enjoy each other's company around the table.                                 ...

M y good and perfect gift has latched onto the idea that there are monsters in our home. I have talked with him, showed him,and prayed with him. One of the things I keep reminding him is that Jesus is LORD of our home. Monsters cannot live here. Monsters do not exist.! He does not want to except the truth by any means. He began having nightmares. His mind has constructed all sorts of scary things that his subconscious brings out in his sleep.                                                            I am very strict on the things I allow him to watch. He is only allowed to watch things such as Veggie Tales, Max Lucado's Hermie and Wormie And Friends. Curious George, Caillou, and Chugginton. I don'...

H e tells me I'm not the sweet little Lori that he married almost 20 years ago. He tells me I'm "always grumpy" with him. He tells me I'm nicer to everyone else outside our family unit. Has he not lived out the last five years of our married life together?                                                                   Has he not dealt with the same child I have dealt with? Has he not been to playdates where we have had to leave kicking and screaming? Litterally? Does he really not understand all I have had to do in the past five years to raise a child who has AD/HD ?               ...

S he calls me to tell me of her decision to opt out of trying to get a liver transplant. I'm quiet with anticipation of her "Why". I listen very quietly and let her do all the talking. She tells me how tired she is. How very worn out she is. She dreams of the day she will see her Master face to face.  She tells me how it is His decision to heal. It is his body to do as he pleases. She tells me of how she is trusting in Him to do what he sees as best. I want to cry but nothing comes. No warm wet stinging the face, Strangely, I too feel His prescence and peace in this moment. The same peace that I hear in her voice. My mind runs very far ahead begs the question, What will life be without my Mother. The one who taught me about Jesus. The one who sacrificed countless hours of sleep, The one who loved me no matter how much I rebelled in my young teenage life. The one who sat up at night with me when I had stomach viruses. She would always hold my head, keep my hair pulled back...

I t all started so well this morning. We had a playdate planned for the day. I was turning my back on my dirty house and was going to go and have some time with a friend and her children. I tried to reach her early this morning. I had a couple of important questions to ask her before our playdate. She did not answer. I was understanding. She has three children to my one. I can imagine having three children to get ready to go somewhere is more stressful than I can imagine. My good and perfect gift and I needed to go into town to pick up those few items from the store, get allergy shots and drop off our grocery items back home and head out to our exciting playdate.                                                      As we were o...

I have felt the quiet lonely sound of silence. When noone would come near. Noone would lend a helping hand. The judgemental stares would absolutely crush the inside of me. Feeling so isolated, so alone.                                                 Wondering and praying if there was anyone in the world who would want to befriend me. Someone who could listen, someone who I could depend on to really help me out and give me some respite in the tough times. Someone who I could call on to cry on their shoulder. Someone who would not judge me for the way I raise my good and perfect gift. I wanted to scream " Please God send me a friend. Just one!" After many prayers sent heavenward. God did something so amazing. Not only did he send one but a multitude of...